Keep a lot of mystery in your sex life

Keep a lot of mystery in your sex life but WRONG. Talk about your sex life and what you like. Talk about what felt good, and how to make it better. few An important factor in making their sexual relationship work is a couple’s willingness to talk about sex, and to discuss what might make it couples better. However, as you’ve seen, having a talk with one’s partner about sex isn’t such an easy thing for most heterosexual couples to do. Many of us actually need some guidance. What does a good conversation about sex look like? Here are four ground rules that, ideally, should be met: make Ground rule 1: sex Both people have agreed that they will be honest, but very gentle with one another. a priority Ground rule 2: Both people should mainly emphasize what they like in bed, instead of what they don’t like. Ground rule 3: Both people should compliment one another, remembering and reminiscing about the good times they have had in bed together. Learn more at and

Ground rule 4: Both people should try to remain open-minded, and realize that over time they will become better lovers of one another if they talk about sex. In one of our workshops, during an exercise, one couple had stopped talking to each other. We stepped in and asked them what the and was. The man said that he was very hurt. When asked why, he said, “I make love a certain way. It’s my way. If she doesn’t like it, too bad. There is my way, and there is always the highway.” We asked about how we learn to give a good massage to our partner. This man quickly said that he simply would ask her what felt good and what didn’t. After he answered that question it was as if a light bulb went off in his head. He said, “I get it. Is that what you want?” His partner said, “That’s it.” We told him that it was very common for people to feel the way he did. We often take feedback about our lovemaking as a personal rejection. That’s why most couples in the USA prefer not to talk with one another about sex at all. MYTH #7: If sex is not always “love- making,” it will destroy love. WRONG. Have quickies and see that they are as important as gourmet sex. Couples whose sex life is doing well seem to have accepted that sometimes sex is going to be a quick (perhaps rapid) release for one or both parties. For hetero couples, they find other ways for her to have an orgasm during quickies, through manual manipulation. Some- times she is okay with only him having an orgasm; many women talk about this as giving him “a sexual gift.” These women are not angry about the fact that sex is sometimes satisfying for him, but not for her. But some women also enjoy a quick sexual release. These couples speak openly about “quickies,” and they sometimes ask one another for a quickie. They find ways to feel close to one another during these less romantic and less gourmet sexual encounters. Again, important components for successful quickies are the presence both of verbal and physical affection. Learn more at